One light-hearted, throwaway comment as Zach Johnson putted to win the Open Championship and the ‘Voice of Golf’, Peter Alliss, had sparked another Twitter row.
But it got us thinking, if ‘Sir’ Peter wasn’t a golf commentator, how else would he earn a living? We engaged the Royal & Awesome team and came up with this short-list of potential careers for the great man:
1) TAXI DRIVER: Taxi drivers are never short of an opinion, however offensive. And Peter certainly knows his way around the leafy lanes of Surrey.
2) BARBER: With such gifted hands he should be able to turn them to coiffuring – he seldom failed to make the cut during his career. “How would you like it styled today? Here’s Ken Brown to show us how it might turn out …” Again, of course, barbers are quite happy to offer outrageous opinions to a captive audience.
3) TOP GEAR PRESENTER: Who else could offer the same perceptive, controversial and borderline sexist comments as Jeremy Clarkson? Alliss has a personalised number-plate of ‘PUT 3’, and that sort of automotive humour is sadly what’s been missing in recent series. What’s more, he comes with his own support team. Ken Brown can be the likeable, if a little eccentric, James May, while that rules fella is the irritating little one with eyes like ProV1s.
4) BEST-SELLING AUTHOR: Not at all tongue-in-cheek this one. In addition to numerous golf books, the great man once penned a steamy novel .The 1983 bonkbuster, The Duke, concerns the desperate efforts of ageing golf star Tiger Woods, sorry, Duke Denton, to recapture the glories of his past.
5) PUBLIC RELATIONS: While he received criticism for his Johnson ‘joke’, Alliss didn’t get the credit he deserved for his comment about Donald Trump: “When that man gets a bit of confidence he’ll go a long way …” It’s that sort of subtlety which would set him up well for a career in PR. Remember this classic? “It’s a funny old game. One day you’re a statue, the next you’re a pigeon.” Priceless!
Incidentally, in an online Daily Telegraph poll, more than 21,000 people said ‘yes’ they would miss Peter Alliss’ Open commentary when he retires – 82% of the votes.
What do you guys think? If Peter Alliss wasn’t a commentator what could you see him doing? Let us know in the comments below.